An Open Letter to the Ones Who Struggle During the Holiday Season —

To the ones that are struggling with this Holiday season – 

I first want to start off this letter by saying thank you to each and every one of you that participated in my polls and questions on my Instagram. I am truly grateful for your honesty, and vulnerability. There is nothing stronger than those who come together to talk about hard things. Each and every one of you are valid in the way that you feel and the way the Holidays may make you feel. Whether that’s anxious, depressed, grief-stricken, sad, angry, or any other emotion that’s hard to put into words, YOU. ARE. VALID.

 

November and December can be hard months for most, especially if you’re missing someone. This can be someone that is still alive or this can be someone that passed. It doesn’t matter when you lost them, that feeling of grief is valid. Grief can be so heavy, especially when feelings are heightened during celebrations. Just know that you are not alone in those feelings. Seventy-nine percent (79%) of you answered yes to: “Are you missing someone this Holiday season?” 

 

It’s okay to grieve that they will no longer be physically with you on these special days, but that doesn’t mean that their spirit isn’t with you. One way to incorporate your loved ones into new holiday traditions is by honoring them in your very own way. For example, my friend made me ornaments for each one of my grandparents that I lost. It’s a beautiful way to have their presence with you for the Holidays. No matter what you decide to do, it is your own choice, no one else’s. 

 

One thing that is hard for me, is the pressure around giving the perfect gift or making sure to spend an equal amount of time between family and friends. This pressure causes me to have heightened anxiety and I know I’m not the only one. In fact, sixty-one percent of you said that the holidays make you anxious. With that statement alone, I want you to know that you are not alone. You do not have to feel like you are the only one that feels this way. Many responses said that the pressure to give the perfect gift. splitting time, and food are their biggest triggers. Boundaries are hard, but they are so worth it. No matter if you have to set boundaries with your parents or your best friend, I want you to know that you are worthy of people respecting your boundaries. It’s hard to express them, but I am so proud of you for protecting and standing up for yourself.

 

Some boundaries can look like this:

• When someone comments on what you are eating, tell them “eyes on their own plate”
• Allowing yourself to leave early if you’re feeling anxious without carrying guilt
• Telling your loved ones that you respect them, but you do not want to talk about weight, food, or anything pertaining to your body (or anything else you don’t want to talk about

 

I want you, whoever is reading this, to know that you do not need to feel shame for feeling a certain way around the holidays. Every single ounce of you is valid. Your boundaries are valid. Your grief, sadness, anxiety, depression, and whatever else you may be feeling is valid. Other people don’t get to decide your worthiness or how you feel. Take a deep breath and know that you are not alone. Not even a little.

 

 

I want you to know that I see you and I love you.

Love –

Someone who is also struggling during this season